There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Friday, September 29

To All New Readers!

I have been scanning blogs. I sat on the blogger home page. I have been selecting them as they scroll through "recently updated".

Amazing! I swear its like walking on the beach, and picking up the bottle from the ocean. There are so many wonderfully interesting people in the blogosphere! Welcome to my litte byte of the ocean.

I will try to keep you entertained. ;-)


And I love it! My most favoritist day of the week. But I have a question, maybe I should research before I post this blog. Why is the work week structured so that (traditionally) Monday starts our work week and Friday ends it? I am sure there is some traditional answer for this question. And I know there are many that have work weeks that start on Thursdays and end on Monday or Tuesday.

Personally? I would like to work when there is work, and if there isn't, let me go home and do some work there. I never seem to have enough time to straighten up my house, keep it in order... oh well.

Happy Weekends all! My plans? There is a Kid-fest going on at the airport, I bet the little man would love to see that. Plus there is free kid opera on Sat. afternoon! Tonight? A walk downtown, and maybe a load of laundry! It's probably going to be the last weekend to be able to sit on the beach in my swimsuit, so thats included at some point. And the movie Open Season starts this weekend! I love animation. Guess I am just a big kid! Movie time!

Okay Bloggers. Be well. Make memories. Enjoy Life - Its pretty much the best thing around. ;-)

Wednesday, September 27

I "Love" my MAC.

Endorsed by Jesus

edit: I stole this from emails from jesus but I bet he knows that. Its a joke. Remember, its just a joke. ;-)

Tuesday, September 26

Monday Nap News

What do you know! We are starting a new week! YIPPEEE... yawn. I can never get enough sleep. There must be something wrong with me.

Have you ever fallen asleep at your desk? We have all fallen asleep at our desks at home, but have you at work? I did last week thankfully only for a min. It was approximately 3 pm. which is the same time I get sleepy every single day! :sighs:

I am in my office alone, so, talk to you guys after my nap. :purr: :snore: :drool:


Sunday, September 24

To My Three Readers!

After a short drive to LA, and the hike through a parking lot, I saw Nomar G. hit a grand slam today to win the Dodgers game. AWESOME! My son tossed ball with a grown-up who said, he throws this good at three?, He also learned to say, "Let's go Dodgers".

Yea. We got sunburned even with our sunscreen on, we bought too expensive ball caps we will only wear to Dodgers games, we got a Dodgers baseball, ate a Dodger Dog, and drank too much lemonade! Da-gum that was a great day! :cheesygrin:

Take me out to the ball game... take me out to the crowd... :wink:

Friday, September 22

Weekend Cruise Director

So, being a mom is sort of like being a cruise director. You always have to plan the next "keep the little minds and hands busy" event. Sighs. I miss the leisurely days. Late Friday night bar time with friends. Sleeping in on Saturday, then running your mundane errands at a pace your hangover allows. Then comes Sunday.... ah. Wake up early, get outside for a while, work in your yard, or tend to the plants. Listen to Garrison Keiller. Maybe meet a friend for lunch... stroll in the park or the beach. Take a nap... try not to think about Monday. And let time go by without structure. Wait and see what comes up.

And Now?
Friday night: cooking dinner, cleaning up from dinner, cleaning up the mess the child has made with his dinner, play ball, take a bath, read a book three times, bedtime, clean up the toys, put up the dishes, talk to online friend... go to sleep too late. Wake up early... Library, park, lunch, nap MAYBE, laundry at the laundrymat, dinner with a friend, play ball or ride bike, bath, read book three times, etc.

I decided to throw a little something in the mix for this weekend though. We are going to a Dodgers game! Momma and a three year old, at Dodgers stadium in the cheap seats. So we can spend too much on hot dogs, soda and memorabilia! Oh well. I needed a diversion, so I am taking the show on the road. Maybe I can sell him in the parking lot... NAH!!!!!!!!!!! It wouldn't make up for what I have spent already! giggles. Besides, I am kind of attached to the little angel, since he looks so much like me!

GOOO DODGERS! (eeek. when did I become a sports fan) *adds to hectic schedule: make appt. for brain scan*

Wednesday, September 20

High School

I heard a story on the radio this morning and they were weighing out whether to go back to high school, or go to prison! Of course they all said prison, explaining the various reasons why they hated high school.

High School sucked. I wasn't the ugliest girl in the school, plus I was fairly intelligent. But if I had not been on the swim team, I would not have had any friends! I didnt like the attitudes, the fakes, nor the fact I had bigger tits than most of my class. An boy isn't that fun watching the guys talking to your chest all day. Morons.

I only learned a few things outside of my education there. Boys are self centered and immature, mostly. Good friends are people who like you as you are. And the sooner you get out of high school, the sooner you get to go to college. That's where all the real action is anyway!

Got any particular high school nightmare to share?

Monday, September 18

Go Dodgers

For those of you who didnt stay awake to watch the end of the Dodgers game last night, you missed it. What a great game!!!!! I am not much of a fan for sports. But MAN, that was a fine show. They made four home runs in a row!!!! sighs. I am glad I witnessed that, even if it was on TV.

Where are you person who will shout a "GO DODGERS" with me?


Shi... another work week. I found myself looking at the exit for 154, considered playing hookie, driving to the Chumash Casino, dropping money into the slots, crossing my fingers, and hoping that I could stop working for a few years.

But, since my coworker is out for surgery and won't be back for at least two weeks, I am here. Making sure that the people who need my services are not lacking for help. Yea,Yea, I hear you now! SUCKER! :giggles:

Not really a sucker, MARTYR is the correct term. sighs... starts drawing perrrty pictures.


Sunday, September 17


Can't sleep at night and you wonder why
Maybe God is trying to tell you something
Crying all night long, something's gone wrong
Maybe God is trying to tell you something

Oh, you can't sleep at night and you sure wonder why
Maybe god is trying to tell you something

The Color Purple is one of my favorite movies. No matter how many times I have seen this film, the moments that make me weep, still make me weep. Watching the development of these characters has touched me from the first time I watched it. It reaffirms my feelings about hope.

When I watch it, I am reminded of a time in my life in which I realized hope as a tangible need. I was sitting in a room of strangers and someone who was thought to be late or missing had shown up. The speaker said, "How do you feel that "nameless" is finally here?" I raised my hand, and the microphone was there. I responded, "Hopefull." It was the first time I spoke it aloud, and was affirmed to the weight of this emotion. The speaker stopped and looked at me as if a light was turned on in his mind. He was changed. As I was, and also the entire room. This movie never ceases to deliver that message for me. No matter what adversity you are put up against, there is the hope you can and will overcome. It is the strength of your own hope and desires that bring the medicinal feedback at the moment your mind can realize it. Whatever that picture looks like for you.

Embrace your inner wisdom. Your hope will shine the light on someone who will benefit from its glow. I am living proof of this message. As are the people who have given me reassurance.


Thursday, September 14

The Epson Printer

I am at war. The large format Epson and I are having a fight. I think we just speak different languages. We just keep going round and round with different technical issues. Unfortunately there is no manual to translate "his" issues. He thinks I can't get around his temper tantrum. But, just like most people I know, he underestimates me.

Maybe he thinks that he can frustrate me enough that I will roll him to the stair well so he can finally go "downhill skiing".


Wednesday, September 13

Food Addict's Dream

So I was looking for a little tin of something to send my sister and her husband, since I didnt give them anything for thier birthdays, and I came across this website.

Dale & Thomas Popcorn.

Come on. Give a fat girl a break, would ya? Thats like food porn, huh ali?

Oh, speaking of food porn, a fellow RP'er turned me onto these creations of godliness P.B. Loco. All I have to say about that is... mmmmmmmmmocha!

I will not order a tin for myself... I will NOT order a tin for myself... :wink:

Tuesday, September 12

Our Days

there are days of grief
there are days of joy
can i find someone
who has the answer i seek?

its not about a package
its not about a dream
its about a soulmate
and the face i have seen

he will see me in my anger
he will see me in my pain
he will not ask me to
go back there again

he will say to me baby
your eyes are like water
that quench the thirst
i have felt since childhood

i will bring him sunshine
and the tears in his rain
so when the thunder ends
we both smile together again

never wondering why its so
never asking me what for
just making me feel right
in the cyclone that is life

i need me to have him near
I need him to help me sing
the song that brings harmony
to the world that love touches.

never is the now we seek
tomorrow is the dawn of its peak
surrender to its power baby
you will never be better

but you will always be with me.
you will always be with me.
in dreams and in daylight
you will always be with me.

Monday, September 11

its over now.

I was lying on the couch in my low rent apartment in the bario. Hangover. At an early hour, the "Mexican doorbell" (no offense readers) start honking outside my open window, calling the homies to work. I wake up to close the window, and decide to turn on the TV to drown them out for the morning.

Walking back from getting a glass of water and an ibuprofen, I hear an airplane has crashed into the world trade center. I remember thinking oh shit! both my cousins live and work in Manhatten. Then I realize what is happening. My ex was on the other couch when I scream out HOLY SHIT! as the second plane hit. He rolls over and says "What?" I said, "Look at the TV. There are suicide pilots crashing their passanger planes into the World Trade Center."

We pretty much sat there in awe all day. Watching the poor people from the top floors wave out the windows... Jump... the paper and ashes flying everywhere. Thinking to myself, what would I be doing in that situation? How would I handle myself? Would I panic? Or try to organize and get people out of there? Who would I make my last call to? What would I say? Do those people have children? Are there children in that building?

And most importantly, why didn't your government know about this before hand? An operation of this scale surely doesnt go unnoticed. (please remember these are things i was thinking on THAT day) And another thought, this has a smell to it. A very bad smell. The kind of smell the Kennedy assasignation had. Not good. Look at all the innocent people who died due to someone's insatiable struggle for power. And I cried alot. I am crying still.

Questions. Questions. Questions. Nothing will take back what happened. No memorial service, or parade, or monument will make up for the lives that have been lost. I just hope that the there are more strict guidelines and measures being taken behind the scenes. I have seen evidence of it in the airports. And despite the hassles, I am grateful. But the trust I have in our "defense" against these attacks is filled with gapping windtunnels. I am proud to be an American on some days. other days, I wonder if the people are ever really in charge. So what kind of America am I proud of?

My outpouring to the people who lost loved ones in this tragic event is a hope. A hope that peace shrouds you while recovering from the great loss you endured. namaste.

And to quote many a beauty pageant contestant, I (unrealistically) long for world peace. (whirled peas.. giggles)

Friday, September 8

Okay Jas - My Cyberee Bro... I GOT your MeMe...

yea. i hate doing these. I am not bitching. I would do anything for my cyber bro Jason K . well, let me say, in relative terms... no wait. that doesnt sound right either. quickly moves ahead. Hey Jas! Check out me list mateee! ARGGG (when is talk like a pirate day?).

1. Do you still have tonsils? – when i was five, i was given a book to read that had a wolf going to the hospital to have out his tonsils. the next day, i was admitted, wheeled into a room and anesthitized... yea. and i threw up blood. but... i was eating chips and ice cream the same day.
2. Would you bungee jump? – yea right. like if i needed a spinal alignment that bad, i would let the chinese girls walk on my back.
3. If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be? – Professional Cat Trainer. No wait... Nomad! yea. thats me.
4. How many tattoos do you have? – needles with ink poking me in the epidermis! PASS!
5. Your favorite fictional animal? – Charlotte - she had a great web.
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? – Myself. oh and Ed.
7. Do you consider yourself well organized? – in my mind or in real life? Pass.
8. Any Addictions? – Food, Sleep, a Good glass of bourbon.
9. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? – I try to stear clear of news. Tends to be homogonized and contrived for the masses. But i listen to NPR.
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus? – I like the Circus. Especially the Cirque de Soliel. yea. i could see that every week.
11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? – an adult. so i could leave home.
12. Best Movie You've Seen This Year? – Little Miss Sunshine.
13. Favorite alcoholic drink – Makers and lemonade.
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? – Look at the clock.
15. Siblings? – Blood - two, in the world? many. and i love them all.
17. Have you ever gone to therapy? – am i still breathing? my mom is a therpist. everytime i get on the phone with her its kind of like a session.
18. If you could have one super power what would it be? – Become invisible. Think of all the changes you could do without anyone noticing you.
19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? – ah. the shrine! the mecca! the one place i could go and furnish an entire apartment for under 5,000. Hell YES!
20. Have you ever gone camping? – Yes, but not since i was 14 and drinking boones farm. no wait. once in college at lake travis. and it was too cold to skinny dip, dagummit.
21. Gas prices! First thought? – Go Hybrid!
22. Your favorite cartoon character? – Foghorn Leghorn - although i have to give a shout out to SpongeBob.
23. What was your first car? – 1979 Super Beetle. never should have sold that car. ever. Bright orange!!!!!!!!
24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? – Why would i think that? relationships require work, and sometimes work requires a contract. Keeps things in perspective.
25. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? – I love the Cosby show. But The Simpsons, now thats just classic TV.
26. Do you go to church? – No.
27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? – well, do i have to pick just one? Today? Johnny Depp. ask me again next week. or tomorrow.
28. What errand/chore do you despise? – LOL. giggles... as if i could narrow that down. mopping is the word of the moment.
29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? – ITS FRIDAY!!!!! wOOOOOOt!!!!!!
30. Last time you puked from drinking? – Man, i dont remember its been that long. i remember a mercedes benz and some yellow bile... giggles. messed that guys paint job.
31. What is your heritage? – Austrian/Irish/English - my grandmother is swiss,and i look a lot like her.
32. Favorite flower? – Daffodils - but the runuculus gets a seriously close second
33. Disney or Warner Bros? - an analogy... disney = Playboy, warner = penthouse. i think i like playboy better.
34. What is your best childhood memory? – Summer Vacation and our trips to Hilton Head Island!
35. Your favorite potato chip? – I like pringles.
36. What is your favorite candy? – Chocolate... drools on her keyboard. and the darker the better. and throw in an almond? i am yours.
37. Do you burn or tan? – Both.
38. Astrological sign? – Pisces.
39. Do you own a gun? – Never in this lifetime. Threw up at the first sight of a Magnum and what it could do to a person. No way.
40. What do you think of hot dogs? – they should be smothered in chili and cheese. Or the kraut and relish dog is mighty fine too.

so i am supposed to pick someone to do this after me... who is a go for this one? Winter, Jen, C. Universe and anyone else that feels the need to do a meme.

Be well, make lists, take photos, eat heartily, and get ready for the change of the seasons. it is upon us.

Dysfunction Junction - eek.

Family. They are fun. Sometimes. And in short little spurts. I was at a family wedding this weekend, and when i left it, i felt sad, tired, and totally drained. What am I missing here? What am I missing? Family time should be relaxing, and laid back, at least mostly. But i felt like i was up against a wall, and under the "beacon of shame" as my girlfriend Kat and I call it. :giggles. "beacon of shame".

I need analysis. serious reflection time to figure out why the five people that consist of my faction of this clan are so messed up! I thought i had gotten through it all, more settled into what issues were in the past, and which still remain. But right now? I find myself crying "dear baby jesus. help me!" from what has this despair been spawned? shit. shit shit shit... I think i will take a retreat at Christmas to a holy land, and give all my posessions to the needy. Only when i am free of burden can i actually see in my own personal space what is left to solve.

but seriously. there are deep currents from childhood, i am sure we all experience, that when i am around these people, begin to get some white caps. shit. shit shit... thats all it is. and its stinking up the joint.


Thursday, September 7

Don't you Love that New Car Smell?

Now i am back in the driver's seat with my original blog, before i started the MEM. After chatting with cyber-bro i remembered i had this little gem tucked away, and since Blogger Beta SUCKS! (and i couldn't comment on your blogs), I am here. Now. Back to square one.

So, let the creative juices begin to flow into my new pages. The old one will be up until i can copy all my old posts off it. maybe pull out some poetry here and there to put back on this blog.

Welcome to my new home. sit down, take your shoes off. Coffee or Tea?