There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Tuesday, October 31

The Raven ~ Spooky...

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

by Edgar Allen Poe


Watch out for the kids, and have fun!

Monday, October 30

Time for a Cool Change

Don't you love this time change? Oh I know... its going to be dark early, but... that extra sleep did wonders for my attitude!

So Monday thoughts? I am already behind this week! :eyeroll: And will be doing the Halloween thing today, and tomorrow. Fun, but time consuming, oh. and every article of clothing I can wear right now is dirty! And junior has no clean PJ's. There is no washer and dryer at the Camp Memsahib, so it's laundromat time.

And I have to say, I love my friend Wilene. She always gives me the best advice. She will always be a part of my life. Always. The fact that she still answers my calls when she knows it's going to be a lengthy introsepective conversation is proof enough she is a FINE friend!

Oh, and I saw a school of Dolphins yesterday afternoon. I don't spend enough time down by the ocean. Nope.

Pleasent Mondays to all. Are we ready to be SPOOOOOKY?

Friday, October 27

Carving the Gourd

Pumpkin Carving Time!!! YIPPEEE!! I love it. Don't you? Time to introduce junior to the scary gourd-iness... and I am always looking for good ideas.

Bumpkin Pumpkins has some ideas, previous years galleries. Pumpkin Gutter has better galleries. . Masterpiece Pumpkins has patterns too. Check them out. I found a few character patterns, even a Mickey... think he would like that?

Anyway, Can't wait to get mine done... going to buy a couple more today, so.... get out your knives and CARVE THE GOURD!!! then send pix to me! Halloween is great! Happy Carving.

Enjoy your weekends all. I am sure there are going to be Haunted Houses, Hayrides, Trick or Treating... Be SAFE! and have a big time...

oh Halloween Humor... How do you scare a bee? Boo BEE!!!!!

Thursday, October 26

Why? Because we Like YOU!

So, he has been saying Pirate this and Pirate that. We go to the costume store to pick out a pirate costume, and he wants this one!

M ~ I ~ C ~ See ya real soon

K ~ E ~ Y ~ Why? Because we Like you!

M ~ O ~ U ~ S ~ E

Trick or Treat, Here we come!

Songs from the Past

She said I know what it's like to be dead
I know what it is to be sad
And she's making me feel like I've never been born

I said who put all the things in your head
Things that make me feel that I'm mad
And you're making me feel like I've never been born

She said you don't understand what I said
I said no, no, no you're wrong
When I was a boy, everything was right
Everything was right

I said even though you know what you know
I know that I'm ready to leave
'Cause you're making me feel like I've never been born

She said you don't understand what I said
I said no, no, no you're wrong
When I was a boy, everything was right
Everything was right

She said
I know what it's like to be dead
I know what it is to be sad
I know that it's like to be dead

She Said, She Said - The Beatles
(and many others)

So i was listening to a collection of Government Mule songs this morning when a version of this song came up in the que. It made me feel kind of sad, and I haven't quite figured out why right now. Is it time for me to leave? End something? Begin something? Is it a flashback!?

Maybe I am just missing the Beatles era... Music was so different then. People created it for different reasons. Lives were in transition of freedom then.... Hell, I don't know. And last night when we went to the Pizza Parlor, and they were playing Billy Preston, Sly, Melanie, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye and those great songs from the late sixties and early seventie's... Guess I am wanning nostalgic today.

dust off your vinyl. time to remember the old days... YIKES!!!!! (never wanted to hear those words come out of my mouth!)

Nuthin from Nuthin leaves nuthin... :wink:

Wednesday, October 25

Random Me

I bought a Magic Eight Ball to put on my desk at work! Now all the mysteries of the world can be solved by the shiny black orb.

I love sunflower seeds on salad... LOVE THEM!!!!! sighs. yummy sunflower goodness on my rabbit food. Its heaven.

I killed a seagull this morning. I think it was a suicide attempt. The garbage he was eating in the middle of the road at a major intersection was tainted, and instead of a slow painful death, he flew up under my car... I heard him crunch. I couldn't avoid it because there were many vehicles. Surprisingly, I am not as torn up about this as I thought I would be. Thankfully he didn't suffer.

I need more creative people in my life. On a daily basis! Missing my friend Kat. yea she is seriously creative! I miss that random thought process and sharing of ideas. Bouncing theories off each other, and laughing till your sides ache. yea. miss that. also my work misses that. I have stagnated, or feel like I have. that bites major tofu weinies.

Southern California has the BEST weather I have ever lived in. Its FREAKIN heaven! The shit of it is you have to work so hard to afford to live here, you dont get to enjoy it nearly as much as you should. catch 22 in action.

What did I ever do before instant messaging? sighs. Daily therapy with friends is a good thing. And not to mention blogs :wink: can I get an amen from the congregation?

Trader Joes... sing it with me... Trader Joes! A treasure chest offering the unusual at moderate to low prices. I love that place. How did i possibly live without it up till now? They dont have them in Texas. I think that says a lot about Texas... don't you? (and no, whole foods doesn't compare - but i do love whole foods as well...)

I need some Peace and Quiet. no kid whining, no TV blaring, no neighbors rockin the brass bed... no hummingbirds fighting in the courtyard (look for a blog on that one this weekend) no body waking me up... just few days of peace and quiet. is that too much to ask? soon. very soon.

I like my coworker. He is an ADD freak like myself. We seem to get along fine! I dont understand californians, but I sure like them. Different and yet the same.

I cry at sappy movies, and sappy commercials. Sue me! I have feelings and I let them show. Its not a sign of weakness, its a sign that my heart is still inside my body intact. Not smooshed, and out of service. So don't sit next to me at a sappy love story if you are going to be embarrased. Consider that your warning.

Okay, Process that for now. More thoughts as the come to me. Hope your brain is filled with random flavors of your own sort. Mine seem kinda... HOoooo Hum.... but thats just me. :giggles:

Tuesday, October 24

mommies discipline

There is a lot to be said for being a single parent. Discipline is not one of them. Men/boys have a definite respect for other men, the authority of them, the power of them, whatever it is that you guys have as a bonding agent. I find that I love this kid so much, there is a tendancy for me to let him run his own show. The problem with this is I have to get control at certain times of the day. Its not an accomplishment I am proud of, its a definition of a deserved serenity in our coexistance.

Discipline helps him to understand the boundaries. Discipline helps him to realize order. Discipline helps me to not want to kill him, or run off and leave him. I freakin HATE doing it. Hate it. The thing I have realized is that, even though this little man has good manners and a great heart, he deserves to have set of boundaries so he feels peaceful and secure.

I am an idealist in many senses of that term. I have always thought there could be another way for parents and children to coexist. But upon living this experience, I realize, discipline is necessary. As I explained to my son tonight, we all go through it, and it makes our lives easier in the long run. But the temporary abonishment psyche is a hard feeling to understand. I hope i can do him justice.

Because there are so many other things he will learn that will hurt him so much more. Like the question I will eventually have to explain... Where is my daddy? I do NOT look forward to that bridge. I will not lie. I will allow him to understand without full explanation, or shame. He deserves to be an individual with confidence. And I can give him that. Will give him that.

whew. thanks for your patience. you may now return to your single, and unburdened lives.

Monday, October 23

The Pumpkin Patch Sunday

We went to a pumpkin patch today. It was a small little patch of earth with a lot for kids to become entranced by. Here are some of the images my eye caught as i was following my son around this place. Its a wonder what you see through a childs eye. enjoy.

the sunflowers was a lucky image from a bumpy hayride.
the scarecrow was from a corn maze we couldn't seem to make it through. I promised him we would go back and try again. the hayride. yea. it was BORING! he loved it. we did it twice. would have gone a third time, but... it was BORING!

afterwards, the costume shop. he had been saying pirate these last few weeks. We get there, he picks out a mickey mouse costume!!!! LOL. sighs. mommy bought wings so that she could be a fairy. seemed simple enough to wear a pink skirt and top, ballet flats and glitter in order to chase a three year old!

Happy Halloween week Everybody!

Saturday, October 21

Best Wishes

Where there is great love, there are always wishes.

Willa Cather

Where there is love there is life.
Mohandas Gandhi

To my friends Meri & Melissa,

May the years to follow be full of love and enlightenment.

I love you both.

Friday, October 20


I started feeling melancholy this morning, remembering all the good times I had in Texas, Houston, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Chorpus Christi, Galveston, San Angelo, Menard, Lubbock... sighs. its a BIG place. Lots to do and see. And realizing it was the last weekend for the State Fair of Texas. Actually the first weekend is the best, cuz the corny dog grease is hot and fresh! You can NOT go to the state fair, and not have a corn dog. Nope! (they even have soy dogs I believe. :wink:) So after traveling all over that great state, (despite a few pesky politicians, BTW, I never voted for him or his daddy, I KNEW better!) I realized that there really are no others like them. Strange to say that. I never believed that people were all that different around the globe, and basically they aren't. But, Texans are a different breed.

My sister and I were discussing this yesterday, how much we both miss our Texas women friends. They are independant and strong. You can always count on them to be honest and loving. Even if it is at full volume, brutally honest and in your face, you most always know where you stand. There is a lot to be said for that kind of friendship. So no matter what I feel about the actual state of Texas, I miss my texas friends!

Texas weather sucks most of the year. They have hurricanes, flooding, and those hellacious summers that last from May to Oct. There are more than a few rednecks. They have the death penalty, mosquitos that carry off dogs, and flying cockroaches. It's got great thunderstorm activity. It also has produced some of the GREATest music and some of my favorite people in the world.

So Texas buddies, Howdy YA'LL! Come on out to SB and lets BBQ on the beach. Damn straight.

damn it looks like i missed Jerry Jeff Walker this year. and Cross Canadian Ragweed... oh well. there is always next year! *starts polishing her boots*

Thursday, October 19

everybody smiles with a doughnut in thier hand

Along with the Starbucks we are treated to everyday, the company where I work provides us with doughnuts on Thursdays. Plus sacks and sacks of bagels. Everyone leaves the lunchroom with a smile on thier face on Thursday mornings. Carbo Thursdays I call them. Don't put your hand between an engineer and his morning doughnuts or you may lose it!

~~~ and on a different note...

Who knew! Jeffery would win Project Runway! And why was that snitty Laura all up in arms about his technique? sheeez. I though for sure Uli was going to take it, but I realized in my own mind, that he was the most innovative designer there. Right? And after seeing him talk about his life, and the changes he had made, I was kind of rooting for him... (is that the right word? rooting?) Well, now we have to wait for the next installment. thankfully Top Chef is going to take that time slot.

Any thoughts? Comments? Hazelnut Creamer? Cuz I am out. :wink:

edit: I have not forgotten you all! I have been WAYY too busy at work to catch up on blogs! will try to get to everyone by the weekend.

Wednesday, October 18

Hump Day... Where's Your Camel?

Its Hump Day for those of us that have Monday - Friday schedules. sighs. That would be me. And it's DRAGGING! I mean, isn't this week over yet? YIKES! So I will sit and stare at this project I am NOT liking until friday.

For you creative types, don't you hate it when you are designing something to someone elses specs, and you HATE IT? And now my mind has a completely new idea, and I am too tired to move? sheezzzzzzzzzzzz. Booth Graphics... (hearing the collective moan). Oh well, I could be cleaning toilets right? but I am NOT YEEEHAW... so I sit and stare at it. Something will spark I know it!

Until then, I blog. I eat. I sleep. I am a Cruise Director, "same as it ever was".

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

Letting the days go by
let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by
water flowing underground
Into the blue again
after the moneys gone
Once in a lifetime
water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...

Once In a Lifetime ~ Talking Heads

Tuesday, October 17

The Confessions I Must Share

I stole this meme from Neil! Hey buddy... there are only a few things on this list i haven't done. Does that make my life complete? Maybe I should put in the things I still want to do.

(x) Smoked a joint
(x) Done cocaine
(X) Been in love
( ) Had a threesome
(x) Been dumped
(x) Shoplifted
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
(x) Been arrested
(x) Made out with a stranger
(X) Gone on a blind date
() Had a crush on a teacher
(X) Been to Europe
( ) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
( ) Seen someone die
(x) Thrown up in a bar
(X) Met a celebrity
(X) Met someone from the internet in person
( ) Been moshing at a concert
(x) Gone backstage at a concert
(x) Lain outside in the grass and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) Made a snow angel
(X) Flown a kite
(x) Cheated while playing a game
(X) Been lonely
(x) Fallen asleep at work
( ) Fallen asleep at school
( ) Used a fake ID
( ) Been kicked out of a bar
( ) Felt an earthquake
(x) Touched a snake
(x) Slept beneath the stars
(x) Been robbed
(X) Won a contest
(X) Run a red light
( ) Been suspended from school
(X) Had braces
(X) Felt like an outcast
(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Had deja vu
(x) Totaled a car
( ) Stolen a car
(x) Hated the way you look
(x) Witnessed a crime
(x) Been to a strip club
( ) Been to the opposite side of the world
(X) Swum in the ocean
(x) Felt like dying
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Sung karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(x) Made prank phone calls
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Had a bonfire on the beach
(x) Crashed a party
(x) Seen a tornado
(X) Had a wish come true
( ) Gone bungee jumping
(x) Screamed in public
(x) Told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) Had a one night stand
(x) Kissed a mirror
( ) Had a dream that you married someone
(x) Gotten your fingers stuck together with super glue
( ) Been a cheerleader
(X) Sat on a roof top
(x) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
(X) Stayed up all night
(X) Not taken a shower for three days
( ) Made contact with a ghost while playing a Ouija board
( ) Had more than 30 pairs of shoes at a time
( ) Gone streaking
(X) Been skinny dipping
(x) Been pushed into a pool/lake with all your clothes on
(x) Had sex in a public or semi-public place
(x) Been kissed by a complete stranger
(x) Broken a bone
(x) Caught a butterfly
(x) Mooned/flashed someone
(x) Had someone moon/flash you
(x) Cheated on a test
(X) Forgotten someone’s name
(X) Slept naked

This is a few extras...
(x) Read tarot cards for a friend and scared them off permanently because of what you told them
(x) had some sleeping dreams that came true
(x) had a child
(x) preformed live and said shit on mic when i messed up! :lol:

only makes up part of my experiences. i would like to be married one day, I think. Sorry this is a boring entry, but worn out today. and busy at work!

anyone else up for confession?

Monday, October 16

Kinetic Energy

Kinetic energy is the energy that a body possesses as a result of its motion. It is formally defined as the work needed to accelerate a body from rest to its current velocity. Having gained this energy during its acceleration, the body maintains this kinetic energy unless its speed changes. Negative work of the same magnitude would be required to return the body to a state of rest from that velocity.

So, once an object is in motion it stays in motion eh? I was lucky enough to put my camera on the table at the birthday party on Saturday night, and catch a body in motion. This little man has enough energy to power a small city. Does anyone else have a three year old? Whew! I get tired just thinking about corraling him.

He goes non-stop. And the interesting thing is I remember being that way when I was small. Go Go Go! and if my body was at rest my mind was going even faster. So we got him out of the house as much as possible this weekend. Saturday was playing catch, and running around outside, followed by the party which i stayed at until almost 11pm. Then Sunday, we watched cartoons, then...

He ran from exhibit to exhibit with all the adults strolling behind! it was a lovely afternoon, the animals were all very inactive, we got a great look at the gibbon monkeys. We took the little train ride that takes you behind the lion cages, and we got to see them both, the lion was up on his rock. The new penguin exhibit was cool! and when austin saw the fresh water manna rays, he freaked out thinking they were going to escape thier cages. Kids at the zoo are the greatest! We would go every weekend if I could afford it!

Wanna see the penguin picture? :lol: Enough home shots. OH.. And if you are EVER in Santa Barbara CA, you HAVE to go to the La Super Rica Taco shack on Milpas. And even if you have to wait, wait. YUMMMY! can you say leftovers for monday lunch? I KNEW that you could. :wink:

Friday, October 13

Friday Rainbow

This morning when I walked out of my apartment it was sunny. As I approached my car it started raining. Then I looked up in the sky, and I saw a rainbow. I thought, what a great way to start the weekend!

Rainbows are seen when raindrops, falling in the distance, bend and bounce sunlight back towards your eye.

Raindrops reflect sunlight, like a mirror. However raindrops also bend, or refract, light, like a lens. The reflection is spread into a cone of light. The edge of this cone is bright, because sunlight is concentrated at this angle (called the rainbow angle).

Each colour of sunlight is bent and bounced in a slightly different direction. The colours separate around the bright edge of the reflection.

The collection of raindrops that send the same bright colour towards your eye is curved. The centre of the curve is the shadow of your head (called the anti-solar point). The rainbow always appears at the same distance from this central point, at the rainbow angle.

I can't really top that wonder of light and rain making the full color prism arch, so lets just sit back and enjoy. enjoy your weekends, carving pumpkins, drinking pumpkin ales, sleeping in, making soup or chili, watching baseball playoffs and we have a birthday party on saturday! YEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWW.

sniff sniff ~ do you smell the leaves falling? *picks up her camera and wanders into the woods*

be wise, and well.

Yea its friday the thirteenth. I should have posted something about hoaxes and bad luck, but since my birthday is a 13, I am not buying this as being a bad thing! (especially since one of the first things i saw this morning was a rainbow) Embrace your fate. It could be the best day EVER!!!!!

Thursday, October 12

Send in the Clone...


n 1: a person who is almost identical to another [syn: ringer, dead ringer] 2: a group of genetically identical cells or organisms derived from a single cell or individual by some kind of asexual reproduction [syn: clon] 3: an unauthorized copy or imitation [syn: knockoff] v : make multiple identical copies of; "people can clone a sheep nowadays"

yea. one of those. I am too freakin tired to answer your calls, draw your pictures, listen to the stories about your stupid dog, or discuss what you got stuck in your teeth after lunch/dinner.

Sorry, Melanie is not in right now, but if you will leave a message with her clone Memalia, she will be happy to process your requests. If not, FINE!!!!!!


A Concert by a Songwriter ~ Steve Earle

I woke up this mornin' and none of the news was good
And death machines were rumblin' 'cross the ground where Jesus stood
And the man on my TV told me that it had always been that way
And there was nothin' anyone could do or say

And I almost listened to him
Yeah, I almost lost my mind
Then I regained my senses again
And looked into my heart to find

That I believe that one fine day all the children of Abraham
Will lay down their swords forever in Jerusalem

Well maybe I'm only dreamin' and maybe I'm just a fool
But I don't remember learnin' how to hate in Sunday school
But somewhere along the way I strayed and I never looked back again
But I still find some comfort now and then

Then the storm comes rumblin' in
And I can't lay me down
And the drums are drummin' again
And I can't stand the sound

But I believe there'll come a day when the lion and the lamb
Will lie down in peace together in Jerusalem

And there'll be no barricades then
There'll be no wire or walls
And we can wash all this blood from our hands
And all this hatred from our souls

And I believe that on that day all the children of Abraham
Will lay down their swords forever in Jerusalem

Jerusalem - album: Jerusalem by Steve Earle

Last night I was lucky enough to see a concert by Steve Earle. He is an excellent story teller. Now, being from Texas originally, I am quite familiar with this man's music. But everything changes when you have the opportunity to see a songwriter live. Not only do you get the experience of witnessing their talents, but you can feel the passion that lead them to thier calling in the first place. It was a solo show. Just him and his guitar. His wife was the opening act. Live music is the greatest. Don't you think? If you haven't listened to Steve Earle, this ablum is one of my favs. Guitar Town is also good. There are too many songs to mention.

The song above was one of the songs I was waiting to hear. He has always been outspoken about his political views, and last night was no exception. Reminded me how much I miss Texans (not Texas so much). And why is it that I am not more involved in stopping this immoral war?

sighs. More Free Thinkers, please! Supersize me!

Wednesday, October 11


Sighs. Here is something I hate to admit. My feelings about my cell phone are a personal and demeaning part of my existance. I love the damn thing! And the most important part for you to know about me? Its not the style of phone that hooks me. I have had the same service provider for five years. Its the connections I have there.

Are you up for the confession? Tough it out. I walked into the T-mobile store five years ago with the fascination of wireless communication. I found what I could afford, and walked out the door. Now, six phones later, I still have a loaded sim card. I am the ear for my friends. I love them! Each and everyone. No matter how far you go in your life, those people enhance who you are. And in the era we live in, they could live in Fiji, and I would still be willing to listen to them when they are having a hard day. One of the days were you would rather be in a sinking boat than where you are, struggling just to make ends meet. This is the meaning of life for me. And that damned device allows that.

I may not make much sense with this entry. But the one request I have of you visionaries today is to step away from all you have, pick up your cell phones, and browse your list. Is there someone on there that you have had a dream about? Or someone that has crossed your mind? Call them. You never know what can happen. Seriously. It sounds like a banner ad on a "self actualization" site. But who are you. Really. And don't those people matter to you? Let them know. Because tomorrow may be too late. And there is always that total boost to your self esteem involved.

One ringy dingy... two ringy dingy... ;-)

and one more thing!? I lied. I am looking at getting a sparkly new phone with more features. so I can check my blog from there too. :giggles:

Tuesday, October 10

Are you Listening?

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Ha Ha HA! :dramatic eye roll here:

The historical appeal of breasts. Should we even discuss it? I was in my walkin closet getting dressed pondering the preportion of my mammalia. The stories I could reveal here about this very subject of men and my boobs. You have to understand that since the age of fourteen I have had to wear a bra. Now in junior high school that is a like waving a red flag at a bull. Let's just comment that I hated boys until I was out of high school. And it didn't help that I was a swimmer. So now we have an idea of the proportion. Its a hell-of-a long time to be wearing a upper body restraining device! Time passing and gravity is not kind to the exterior bits. And my poor aching back... oy vea!

I have long considered having a reduction. Money is the one of the prohibitive factors involved here. The next is the fact when they do a reduction, they do an incision around your areole. Yea what good is that going to do? I mean half the fun of the boobalas is the sensation in that region. So yea, lets severe the nerve endings. NOT. Archaic. You know what i have to say? If men had boobs, you can DAMN well be assured that a much better approach to this reduction surgery would be available.

So, one more day in the holster until I can find a procedure that doesn't cost me an arm and a leg. And a doctor that can preform this surgery without completely severing my nerve endings. Sighs. Someday.

Back Straight, Chest Out, lest we get some static on the Radio. ;-)

Monday, October 9

Soup is Good Food!

Its getting that time of year to start really enjoying soup again! Isn't that great!? There is nothing better on a cold day than a warm bowl of soup. And so fulfilling.

A few weeks ago I decided that I was going to make some soup, and realized I don't have a soup pot. In KMart after looking at soup pots, I ended up purchasing a crock-pot instead. I have never owned/cooked in one before, anxiously awaiting my first experiement with this cookware. I have no recipes, but do have a nice tri-tip in the freezer waiting to go into the pot.

Recipes? feel free to share! ;-)

Friday, October 6

Coffee Talk

Oh my. mmmmm mmmmm. :sniff: with a shot of caramel and some cream. Its a ritual not preformed on a daily basis. But Friday's at my office are slower. Most of the company, 80% of roughly 350 employees, work Mon-Thur. Its a great day to take my time, wake up, enjoy my twice a week cup of delightful "just the way I like it" coffee. Then slowly plow through what I have been putting off all week.

Weekend Plans? For me? You really want to know? Ok...
Visitor!!!!!!!! Yippee! The kind of visitor that makes me say, sigh. Now I can take deep breaths because you are HERE! So my weekend will be spent smiling. A lot!

What you guys got in store? Whatever it is, take photos. Bloggdom is the definition vicarious living! And we LIKE IT THAT WAY!


Wednesday, October 4

Project Runway

Its my Favorite Show. I have watched this show religiously for three years. I love it. Don't miss marathons, or new episodes. Clothing design to me is fascinating. Its architecture for the body. Costuming, and so day to day life. We all wear clothes at some point during the day. :wink:

I aspired to be a clothing designer. Something I tried to accomplish in high school, but once i realized there would be pattern making, and "advanced" sewing involved, I relenquished to my inner lazy child. :giggles:

I moved my ambitions next into working as a chef. Something i still think i will accomplish before i die. Can't you see the neon? MEM's Diner? Kind of a surreal take on the blue plate. oh yea.

Now... ADD rant over. Project Runway. Does anyone else watch it? And who do you want to win? or is it just another waste of air space?

Tuesday, October 3

OH YEA!!! Drillin...

I am doing some refurbishing around the house. I have a tiny apartment, a studio. Its not a bad size, but when living in a small place you have to use every square inch intelligently. Getting around to that slowly, methodically, and with as little cost to my budget as possible. ie: I pulled a coffee table out of the dumpster the other day. Its a perfectly fine IKEA black coffee table. We have already spent each night at this treasure, eating dinner, coloring and playing trains.

So, I love power tools. Yea. Who doesnt? So for the needs of my updating the living space, I went to Home Depot. Today I bought a couple of pine planks to make a shelf. So without a tape measure, I found the perfect length and width. I carried my plank to the cutting table. Found the "helpful" orange apron, and put him to work. As I took my $6 shelf to the counter I cut my finger. OUCH! Blood did flow, but no splinters thankfully. There is one thing that always astonishes me there. You know how many guys look at a woman who appears to know what she is doing at a Home Depot? Strange. Maybe its a kindred spirit of creating something with your hands. Like minds that want to build something and solve problems on your own.

Ah, now for the drill. I was thinking about putting up some hooks that so graciously were left in one of the drawers of my apartment. And actually, since my last wonderful cordless drill was taken by the men who moved me (along with my sewing machine) I have been longing to replace it. So today, I found a way to justify the $40 spent on this little mommas helper. Things around here are going to change! There will be hooks to hold up bags, robes, ironing board, towels, etc. I still need to research an additional clothes rod.

Wow. Pro baseball games and powertools. You are going to start calling me a dyke aren't you? NTTAWWT. I just happen to LOVE doing these things for myself. Okay gotta fly, the battery is finally charged up, and I feel the need to screw something to the wall.


Tin Man Tuesday

Do you remember that scene in the Wizard of Oz where the Tin Man is recently oiled, but his legs are still stiff, and he leans from side to side blowing along with the wind? Do you ever have days when you feel like a wishy washy so and so?

Yea. Friday was one of those days. Blech. Nothing was solid, and yet I was still talking. I kept hearing things coming out of my mouth that sounded like drivel. All the while knowing I wasn't being my real self, the inside self. The self that holds the insight, love and compassion.

What is that all about? geeezzzz. I am too old to act like a teenager. But at least I NEVER talk about myself in the third person. :giggles:

Geez... what a flake...:eyeroll: but at least I have a heart.

Sunday, October 1

Self Respect

So I smoke. That is no mystery. But I realized again today is that it is just another testiment to the fact that I don't really have much respect for myself. I hear the voices outside of me, people that truly care. People who refresh the evidence of my generosity and full heart. Why can't I feel that, live that in my own body?

Therapy has not really been a healer in that arena. Self actualization has. Working helps. But, how to make it a solid wall that assists in my persuit to become whole and at peace?

I sure have learned alot in my life. And I have accomplished so much that others find impossible to penetrate. But, this self respect issue is a deep deep river. I must navigate successfully soon, so I do earn the respect of my child. If not, there will be hell to pay in the long run.

thoughts? similar experiences? anything!? thanks in advance for your insights.

as always, peace and love. memsahib.