There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Friday, December 8


So I have always been un-cool. And, it's a safe bet that I will continue to be un-cool for the rest of my days. I have a talent to draw unwanted attention to my silly demeanor. In addition to that, I laugh at just about everything. Yes, even in tragedy.

Its just not in my nature to make graceful entrances or exits in this lifetime. I have fallen off many barstools, before imbibing. I have laughed out loud when the soloist finishes and all are completely silent. I am the girl, who at the company Christmas party (btw: At the time, I was working for a major high dollar, high fashion retailer), was decked out in a black velvet dress I had someone make for me, expensive costume jewelry and my best heels. As I was walking to the "powder room", I slipped on the carpet. Of course it was at high traffic time. Lo and beholding to many unsuspecting party guests, my skirt flew up over her head! I was sans-panties for this function as well. Of course, that is when I started drinking heavily... Ha! And that is just one example of my many triumphs.

Its just those kinds of events that plague me. The ones you can never outrun. The ones that will be gossiped about for weeks. And now that I am a mom, I have a little one that I can train in the fine art of enjoying your own un-coolness.

So, if you ever see a woman on the streets of Santa Barbara making an ass of herself without even trying, more than likely its me. I figure, I am going to look like an idiot anyway, I might as well make the most of it. So enjoy the show, because I have NO shame when it comes to enjoying life as the un-cool chick.

We don't need no stinkin woopie cushions. ;-)


  1. Uncool IS the new cool. I guess no one filled you in. Probably because you're so uncool already, they figured you didn't need told.

    I find you endearing btw ;)

  2. I'm with nonny! Uncool is cool, and more fun to boot!

    btw, posting from a new URL for the time being..

  3. Just be your wonderful self..
    It's not like highschool. We don't have to be cool..
    But I think you are cool....
    I bet you're baby thinks your the coolest EVER!.

    My kids think I'm cool.. and that's all that


  4. Haven't you heard that Uncool is in fact the new cool?

    Of course aroudn the same time cool decided to become "shizzy."

    And that makes the original cool sorta crappy. ;)


  5. when you are hot you dont have to be cool

  6. I am right there with you about this one.
    Tonight at dinner as a side though, I said out loud "I have to poop" much to the amusement of the other diners who all dropped what they were doing to stare as I broke out into laughter.. you know that moment where everone falls silent and then you speak..yeah

  7. Oh, I laugh all the damn time too. I like being uncool. It's fun.

  8. What a philosophical connundrum - by embracing and celebrating the uncool, does that in fact make you cool?

    I took a few wipes out on black ice in Manhattan with literally thousands of people around, and I remember I would stand up and just bow to the crowds.

    If someone else near me wipes out like that, I squat down and make the home plate baseball safe call.

    The panty-free wipe out ... well, I may just have to start spending my weekends cruising in Santa Barbara.

  9. I agree with everybody who said that "uncool is the new cool".

    Be on the lookout for Rat. ;-)

  10. I am uncool as well. I used to want to be cool, but I never got the hang of it.

  11. We have a word in Australia for being uncool. It's called being a dag. I am the Queen of Dags and I applaude your stupendous dagness as well!!!

  12. I am the queen of uncool. I couldn't be cool if my life depended on it. I just don't have it in me.

  13. I like Napoleon Dynamite (SP?)

    Yes, the commentors before me are right......uncool is the new cool.

  14. Hey, I'd much rather be laughing at myself and having a good time with the other uncool people like myself.

    Way less pressure and way more fun!

  15. nonny: you know, only one other person in my life called me endearing. I wonder where he is now... thanks sweety!

    Lbug: be assured, i will follow you! :hug:

    dirk: dude, being called cool by you is like the coolest! (do I sound like a so cal girl yet? giggles)

    steph: I wonder what that kid thinks, although he did say to me last night, I love you mom, then let out a big sigh! so.. I guess that is pretty darn cool! and you are way cool too. :wink:

    steve: yea what is that shizzy thing all about? i mean that sounds like a rash you get from making love or something. and even though getting it may be cool, but having it show later, uncool! :giggles:

    satan: is hot the tempature, or physical appearance?

    musings: I LOVE it! that is so me... sigh. we should have a retreat. i could use a good long weekend of margaritas and general misbehaviour.

    loops: laughing is the only way to remain sane in this man eat man world. at least if you are laughing, they tend to leave you alone...

    rat: you know despite your painfully obvious obsession with the female anatomy, i could develop a crush on you. Your sense of humor and timing are kinda sexy...

    pissy: I guess it is! I never realized it before. nope. As for rat, i guess i should never have said where I lived... what an uncool thing to do... ha!

    mist1: technicalities eh? damn judges always give me a 5 for the dismount! How can anyone ever rise above that?

    alison: DAG!! I LOVE it! so you get to be the queen,eh? and thank you for the "stupendous" remark! i am feeling much better today!

    karma: well, I am so glad that you are in the mix! cuz to me, you are cool!

    goddess: yea... vote for pedro! :giggles: I know you are cool. you EXUDE cool. don't even try.

    velvet: what a great way to put it! no doubt. uncool people are so much more laid back, adn have a much better outlook on life. thanks for the perspective.

  16. you will NEVER be uncool to me.....

  17. slyde: well, thanks dear man! you make me smile. ;-)

  18. Hi Mel,

    I am just reading and I can't believe that you laugh at everything even when things are bad.

    I do that too.


    I am uncool.

  19. I used to be cool. Now I am post-cool.