There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Thursday, June 7

Canvas Surfing

I am shrieking inside... I feel so tenuous. I woke from a restless sleep this morning with a skeleton in my brain, and a shriek that kept me from going back to rest. Before I laid down yesterday from a well rested reprieve from loneliness and the pain, I pulled this card from my deck. With a question about a friend.

My question is clearly not answered yet as peaceful as this image looks to me. I see one side as healthy and whole. Open to all that is. The other side of him is a statue or on a cold surface. Stuck to a surface he can not escape. But what is he trying to capture? And is that blood on him? Or is that some warmth that he is seeking? A trance but warm and happy in his dream isn't he? Or maybe its all a dream.

so then I pulled this one...

Whew. That is a damn powerful card. Center of the universe huh? Or is it the center of my world? I have the support I need from the world to move. This is a support system. I hope that holds true for both he and I.

Its all so freakin Harry Potter to me this week (including accents), magical creatures, distant adventures, and all to real fantasy images soaring in my head. Up the dosage or lower it? Or maybe its just like the C/Universe says, time to paint and draw. I must release the demons of creativity that are screeching to be released. They are keeping me from sleeping. Someone has seen and gratified the inner hidden me. Helped me to release this powerfully creative soul I have been hiding, protecting, silencing. Who is she?

Her palate consists of Siren. Mermaid. Wanderer. Nomad. Lover. Mother. Water. Earth. Poet. Provider. Comrade. Stranger. Visionary. Vocalist. Giggly Girl. Friend. Sistor. Child. Woman. In all her complexity provided for your entertainment. It's been a wondrous ride of this wave ridden ocean called me. Got a surf board? Cuz its a good series of swells this week, dude. (and more cali speak) Late.

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