Thursday, June 14
Sitting in a Hole
So today I was looking at a picture of a friend. He is sitting in a chair, and I am looking at the side of his face. I found myself thinking, Look at me!!! Just turn around and look at me. Then I realized, after that brief moment of sheer uncontrollable insanity passed, he wasn't going to turn around because its a picture for christsake! sighs.
Today, I feel like I have fallen into a hole. A hole that I have dug for myself. Maybe I created it as a resting spot. Or a place to put the things I don't want to think about. Or a place to put things I don't have TIME to think about. After this dream I had last night, I keep waiting for some kind of BOMB to drop on me around 4 today. Maybe I feel like I have to have all the answers before 4 this afternoon.
Damn voices in my head have crawled into the hole and started stirring things up. And I am not sure if I will surface today before I clean up a few things down in the cylindrical, self loathing, put off as long as you can, face reality bitch, dungeon, hole!!!!!
Sighs. I love to love, but today? It's an "All in Vain" kinda day. Why do I even bother... whimper. *goes to the gym to punch some stuff*