Do you ever feel like you are standing in the middle of a crowd screaming and no one can hear you? I know someone in a movie said this line, and I don't care. I believe its a phenomenon that has happened throughout time.
I feel that way right now. My insides are screaming out, and I can't seem to calm them down. I haven't had any sleep (8 hours in two days). I fall asleep for two hours, wake up, can't get back to sleep for an hour or two, then fall asleep for another two hours... Its hell. I am having to up dosage on one medication, and completely abandon another. This experiment with body chemistry is taking a toll on my sleep. (Don't get me wrong. Its been mostly a godsend to me).
In addition, one person in my life I thought was my good friend, is slowly falling into a pattern of disregarding me. My son needs serious discipline rituals right now. All my belongings from a two bedroom apartment are being shipped to a studio. And through all of it, I am having body chemistry experiments with some serious side effects. Topped off with rolling mood swings from another womanly condition. I have no stamina left this week. None.
Man that f*cker on the white steed better show up soon. At least for a few days next week to help with the heavy lifting when my stuff is delivered. There is so much for me to be thankful for. But for today, I am feeling like a steam roller has rolled over me, and I just want to lay here and remain flat. And not think. Or feel anything.