Ok. You ALL know I am a single parent. I love being a mom, 80% of the time. He is a kind sweet little boy, who is so much like me its frustrating sometimes. When it comes to discipline, I fall short of complete actions. I was using techniques that offered results, but not a lasting solution. Bargaining and threatening are lame when it comes to effective discipline or motivation. Those techniques are only good for a brief period of time... when they are really little. As he grows and gains the confidence he needs to live a full life, I need to be able to communicate effectively with him. And that wasn't happening on my end. Not one little bit. I was getting desperate, and frightened that I was losing a battle that may get away from me completely. I sent my little pledge/prayer out to the universe, requesting some insight.
So, while cruising the local parent website, SBParent.com I entered a contest called the Parenting Challenge. And I won! YIPPPEE! One on one counseling sessions with an independent family counselor.
Once a week for the past two weeks, and the next two weeks, I have time with Kristi, from Solutions in Parenting. (I think she needs a website, and I am going to offer that to her, if she wants one.) What an EYE opener! We are talking about parenting not out of exhaustion, but out of active listening and being present with my son. I am CRAZY tired by the end of the day, but still have enough energy to be with the little guy in an emotional state and meet his needs. Oh the things I have been enlightened too. Our challenges are simple, but like she pointed out to me the other day, even if its something simple like getting him to dress himself, this will effect so many other things that happen in our lives. Finding a solution to this requires my attention in how I communicate to him, and motivate him. Making charts that show him what he needs to be putting on, walking through the process with him step by step so he feels confident, etc.
This takes time. And sometimes I feel like I don't have one more second to spare in dealing with this, or should I say I get to the point of, I can't listen to one more person ASKING me for something. That said, taking the time to accomplish this now will save me so much time in the future. And it will solidify the bond that we need to develop to be loving, respectful, and useful for one another.
Parenting is great. But sometimes, like EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE, its work. And I like working. I hope I can do as good a job here as I know I can.
Goal in place. Now to create the strategies and map out some of the elements. No matter the plan, life creates a lot of waves, just like the ocean. I am confident I can keep customizing the surf board until we have more smooth rides than not.
COWABUNGAAAA!!!!!!! Mom in TRAINING!!!!!