There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Monday, April 28

Fair and Relaxing Ocean Waves

We went to the Fair from 12:30 to almost 7:30. And it was hot. The kid wasn't into the rides too much, but his little buddy was! We found a shady spot and hogged the table for a good part of the day. I was the only adult in our group that got on a ride. I had to ride this one. HAD to.. it intrigued me all day long... calling me to it. That feeling of flying through the air, with hardly any restraint. Once I got past the "unsafe" feeling, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The buddies rode the train a few times. They went to get on other rides, but my little guy was kind of scared. But finally they rode this ride 4 times. It was a simple ride. The cars were going around in a small circle then whipping around the corner. They laughed the entire time.

We spent to much money on BAD fried food, like corn dogs and fried cheese. And too much money playing cheesy rip off games trying to win stuffed sharks. We ate peanuts, funnel cakes, corn dogs, roasted corn, shaved Ice with mango, passion fruit and banana syrup, Lots of water, caramel apple, kettle corn, and bar-b-que. And lemonade. I was burnt out by 7:30.

Then on Sunday to the Beach for a much needed day of sitting and watching the waves. And the seals. And the people. And the dogs. and the kids... laying under the umbrella. I still need some sleep today and not likely.

Summer is coming.Time for the beach. And that sounds like heaven to me. I love beach time. Haven't had any sleep this weekend. I will write a more creative and intriguing entry soon. In the meantime, enjoy the sounds of the sea. (click below)

Friday, April 25


I have recently been perusing the illustration blogs trying to get some inspiration to start painting and illustrating again. Today I came across a blog by an illustrator named Luc Latulippe through another illustrator named Chad Covino. (Both extremely talented people).

A company in Hong Kong has downloaded his entire blog, published it in China and is selling it online. D*MN!!!!

Beware. You never know who is out there stalking and plagiarizing. I am not so sought after, but others may be. Be informed. and stay abreast of information about web thieves.

Good Luck Luc and Chad!

Thursday, April 24

Do Carnivals Need Themes?

Peace, Love and Unity. (I guess they do.) People are encouraged to wear tie dye and the whole sixties gear. Yea right. Our community has a lot of activities. Its a great place for kids. Have I mentioned that at all before? And seeing as I am just a big kid this is heaven for me!

Now, for a week, it is the Santa Barbara Fair & Expo. Grooovy baby. Buy a wristband so you can ride all the torturous and rickety carnival rides at one price. I am excited about taking the little one! Fried stuff, ice cream, things that go whirling about, bad carny games, laughing kids and entertainment too. The entertainment, besides the local bands and dancers, includes fire spinners, a hypnotist and a magician. I haven't seen a magician in a long time. I have never seen a live hypnotist. I don't know that the kid will sit through the hypnotist, but magician? heck yea!

When was the last time you rode on one of these!?

You can bet your butt that I am on that ride! We are going on Saturday with a friend and her son, family, etc. That will be the only day I will get to test my nautious levels.

In other words, look for pictures! I can't wait to potentially drop the camera at this event on Saturday. You know I am going to max out that memory card! We are going tonight for a teaser, cuz the kid is dying to get close to the ferris wheel but not on it. I am going to try to get him on it. Not sure its going to happen. Fingers crossed.

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we are so glad you could attend come inside come inside.... :cheesygrin:

Wednesday, April 23

me new Lens

the camera is back. wooo hoo!!! I haven't taken it out of the house yet (i am a little nervous). I shot some things around the house. These dahlias deserve a little better treatment, but this wasn't too bad. I hope to get out tomorrow night to the fair, and get some REALLY fun shots.

more to come! mem hearts her nikon.

Tuesday, April 22

New Sounds

ok... WE moved. yea yea you know. Our old place was wonderfully quiet. I got used to the sounds of the "others" in my old place and could sleep through it. The upstairs guy occasionally bounced around. There was the schnozzle horn guy every morning at 730. I could hear everyone peeing or drying there hair in the last place. Don't have to worry about that anymore either, thankfully. The old sounds are gone. We are on to a new set of audible environmental wonders.

In the new place, we have a dog that lives in the house next door. This pooch hates being outside and being alone. He doesn't bark thankfully. But he does moan. Like he is in pain. Sounds like emotional pain. Poor thing. My kid yells this morning, Shut up DAWG!!! :giggles:

We are close to the freeway. About 1/8 of a mile. A new ocean tide kind of sound. Thank God for double pained windows. Smart landlord.

We have two ladies living upstairs. A young girl that lives with them a few days a week. The young girl that lives up there comes and goes a lot late at night. And the girl next door, she parks her car outside my window. (THAT is going to stop real quick. She is testing me I can tell. I don't want to be pissy. I just don't want to look out my window at her car!)

So sounds at home. And now? They are doing construction on our side of the offices for the last two months. BANG BANG BANG CRASH!!! all day long.

I am looking at prices for a zen retreat where no one says or does much of anything that makes noise.

Does anyone remember Ren & Stimpy?

Stimpy you are getting on my last nerve ending!!!

Monday, April 21

its CLEAN!

Friday night, Saturday day, and part of Sunday I cleaned out my old place. Out from the old and into the new. Finally moved. woo hoo!!!!

my ankle hurts. my back hurts. my head hurts. I think I picked up a cold. *sniffle sniffle* but its DONE~

Done, done, and I'm on to the next one... :whistles:

Friday, April 18

Earth Day

You know, I am not a "tree hugger". But I do believe in giving back to the earth that gives us so much. I wish i was more pro-active in my attempts to lessen my footprint on the planet. But we are all works in progress.

Our town is having an all day Festival! Come and join us. You can imagine how much trash that event is going to generate. :giggles:

I hope we all find time in our lives to recycle when possible and realize that fossil fuels aren't worth fighting over. There are alternatives. The money and lives exhausted on this fossil fuel war is overwhelming and depressing. Its affecting the temperament of our society. Imagine if we used those lives and that cash for research and development of alternative means of power. We would be an even bigger world wide power, a more positive and impactive influence on our planet.

Off the soap box. Enjoy your weekends and be kind to your mother.... EARTH.

Thursday, April 17


Things rattlin around the top drawer.

• Here's your Dork Badge: I am a DORK! Someone is trying to start a website. I may have to be the entertainment director. I seriously find myself saying, what a dork, most of the day while fumbling around trying to appear "together".

• Lately I have been thinking, maybe I should be fucking the comatose. Then you don't have to worry about the "feedback" aspect. Or "pleasing" someone else.

• Thank God for services transfered. Blame the devil for the "extra deposit needed".

• Four year olds are awesome unless you are packing to move. Then, they want to see what is in ALL the boxes, even though its just stuff they ignore EVERYDAY!!!! And now that we are in our new place? He will unpack it where it stands, find the one thing he wants, then leave the rest in a heap.

• I am avoiding some projects in my life because I don't want to be successful at them. I don't want the responsibility of success. I want a quiet simple life with good roll of toilet paper and a "low feedback" aspect lover or roomie.

• In my new house we don't have cable. I am tired of the noise. I find that the kid wants to be outside for a few mins when we get home. I am happy to do that with him. not much of an outside to play in, but... we aren't watching TV.

• I love my new place. I feel motivated to be doing things now that we have space. its amazing to feel like being at home. I didn't feel that way in our old place. (which i still have to clean up.... YIKES)

• Bad clam chowder sucks. You know the type with chewy inedible clams? And if you have had a really good bowl of chowder, you KNOW what I mean. Bad clam chowder is like octopus sushi. Whats the point?

One more day till friday! :dances around her office: and its free bagel and fresh fruit thursday. booooyeah....

Tuesday, April 15

My New Space

Whose spanky new House & Gardens style kitchen is that? Can you say MINE!? Hallelujah our little family has a new home.

I moved to California 2 years ago. I took the first place that came up. I found a great place to live but it was a studio apartment. Big enough for a small boy and a mom. He grew, as kids often do, and we were busting at the seems. I started looking for a larger place. Not knowing if I could afford to stay here, I was half hearted about the search. Its an overwhelming feeling of knowing you may not be able to stay safely in atown you love due to finances. I trusted the forces that guided me here in the first place to continue to provide. I started cruising the Craigslist for weeks looking. I found our new apartment on a lark.

I went to look at an apartment I knew I couldn't afford with out financial help and didn't have a very good feeling about the space. I did have a really good feeling about the realtor. She is fantastic. After looking at the apartment, I kind of looked at her sadly saying, I am just not feeling it. She says, well I have an apartment coming open on another street that isn't listed and names the price. I said, I will TAKE it, sight unseen (extremely affordable 2 bedroom for my luxurious community)! I wrote down the address and did a quick drive by. I called her later saying, "Show it to me". Ended up going the next day and filled out an application. Two days later she calls me saying its yours! Amazing how quickly things can turn when its meant to be.

We had a month to pack up our few belongings and prepare the show for the next big top location. I hadn't told the kid about our new place yet. And for a few months now he was saying, mommy we need a bigger apartment. (I think he kept overhearing me saying I hated our old apartment!) I took him by the week before knowing the tenants had moved out, and the workmen were inside painting. He was very excited to see his room. "It has two windows", was his most excited statement. This new place has light and windows we didn't have before.

The big day came on Saturday. A friend of mine offered to come up and take the kid for the day to the zoo and keep him occupied. We all went to IHop to get started on caffeine and eggs. Then the move began. Within 2 hours time, we had everything relocated. I had gone to the store the night before and bought stuff to make margaritas and fajitas. Everyone was sweaty and dirty when we started mixing up the margaritas. I stood in the kitchen after all the moving and cut up eggplant, squash, peppers, onions, pounded out my frustrations on some marinated flank steak and put some lime juice on some tilapia. We drank. We ate chips. We met the neighbors. We spilled a drink christening the new apartment. It was a such a lovely way to break in our new home. Here is the crew satiated and sweaty!

That night the kid was ASLEEP by 9. I was having my last beverage after the BEST shower I have ever had in my life. I felt all new and satisfied after that and slept alone in my bed in the new apartment! I am moving forward. I made this happen. But without assistance from my "family" I wouldn't have made it. I am grateful to you all. Words will never express my gratitude.

More Adventures please!!!

Monday, April 14


All moved. can't find my brain yet. its one of the last things I packed. it wasn't in the kitchen boxes... oh well. thank god for reactionary digits and keyboards.


story tomorrow. with pix. ttfn.

Wednesday, April 9

My little family

My son is cute, loving and a little demon too. He has been exceptionally loving the last couple of weeks. Here is some of the dialog.

You said to me, "Mommy we are a family, aren't we?"

I said, "Yes baby. We are a family."

You said, "I am glad. I love you Mommy. Can bear be a part of our family?"

I said, "I love you to baby. Yes. Bear IS part of our family."

You just smiled and gave me a hug and a kiss. Then we both gave bear a kiss.

Thats worth every penny right there.

And Yes. it is that simple, if you let it be.

Monday, April 7

What is UP!?

I don't understand whats up with Will Farrell in my dreams. I had a dream about him again last night. Maybe its because "Blades of Glory" was on HBO this weekend. And Talladega Nights, was on Encore. I only watched a few mins of each, seeing as I didn't feel like explaining to the toddler what was going on.

Last night it was like some kind of elfin kingdom. We were in the woods at a resort. Interesting thing about Will in my dreams? Its like he is my big brother, only not! We have a great relationship, laughing and talking. Nothing overly sexual, and it makes me feel relaxed and comfortable. I don't even LIKE Will Ferrell.

Maybe its a sign. I used to dream about Oprah constantly till I moved to Santa Barbara. Maybe I should find out where Will lives and make a visit. Something may be waiting for me there. Or maybe I should take up comedy writing. Dream interpretation is NOT my strong suit, but there is so much information there. I need a studio. Desparately. Time to be creative ad nauseam.

Thursday, April 3

Moving & Shaking

I apologize in advance for the lack of attention to my blog. For 2 years my son and I have lived in a studio apartment. A few fights and grey hairs later, we are on the move. I found a bigger apartment for not too much more than I am paying now. And its 6 blocks from where I am now. YESSSSS!!!!!

Hence, I am in the throws of a "single parent" move. I don't have much time to spare on myself for a few weeks. Although, technically this move is for myself and my son. You don't even know the ecstacy I am going to feel having my own room again. Can you say privacy? Well, as close as I will get to it for now.

I have room for some plants and a grill too. Whose up for some ribs? or chops? I will send out the invites once I get settled. Until then, keep your hands off my bubble wrap, unless you are wrapping my dishes!

Movin on up... to the east side... giggles.

and in totally unrelated and yet so relevant news...

My Nikon D40 is in the shop being repaired. My soul will be arriving home soon. And in rewards to my soldier of imaging, I bought him a new apendage. And he got a mightier sword. I can't wait to put it to the test. Look for updated images soon.

A special thank you goes out to my father for always supporting the arts. Words are inadequate to thank him for his generosity. I love you Dad. xoxoxox