Thursday, June 12
"Lucky that man whose children make his happiness in life and not his grief, the anguished disappointment of his hopes. "
Another Year has gone by without contact. I am not upset about it until this day. I have decided to get out of town for the weekend. We are going to find some peace at my sisters house. I am happy that we aren't going to be at home alone. I know it is what we both need. He is feeling the absence this week, because they are doing fathers day projects at school. He doesn't have a dad. Well, you know what I mean. He doesn't know why there is no dad. And he doesn't ask. He loves our family. But he is feeling an empty space this week. And maybe not just for himself. He has been sad. He has been clinging to me. He has been acting out. He is afraid to be alone places. I am at odds to deal with it when he wont communicate his little hearts despairs to me. I wish a dad would come sooner rather than later.
Fathers. Mine was a salesman and was gone a LOT when I was younger. I don't remember seeing him very much as I grew up. And when I did he was tired. Sometimes drinking. Most of the time laughing and playing music.
I wonder so many times about people that grow up without both parents. I made a choice not just for selfish reasons, but for spiritual reasons. This was my gift. I am very sorry for his father that he couldn't absorb his ability to share in this gift. But I am not responsible for the lack of respect and honor this person shares with the world. He has chosen his path. And so it goes.
My son is sweet and deserves all the love in the world. All life is rift with lessons and love. I hope that I am providing both with grace and laughter. I am father, mother, teacher and friend.
I deserve a raise... Any volunteers? :cheekygrin:
Happy Fathers Day to all the dads, and single parents out there! CHEERS!