There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Tuesday, July 22

me soño por lo tanto estoy.

For those of you non spanish speakers, go to babblefish. I should start every morning with an hour at the keyboard documenting my dreams. This stuff is what David Lynch uses for his stories. I promise you.

Sunday night was a dooozie! I can only remember bits and pieces now. One if them being I lived in a very large white house with a windowed porch. As I walked past one of the window panes, the glass was missing and Steve Earle's face was sticking through the pane. He was howling at me like something from a William Faulkner novel. Followed by some pretty wild makin out. I remember showing someone around my house, and opening all kinds of windows letting the light in. And offering a new man to stay in the back bedroom I was renting out.

Then I was at a Victorian Motel that I ran with someone. I was in the room with this writer that was trying to seduce me. He was wearing a red velvet robe, kinda like Hugh Hefneresque. He was giving another woman and I some kind of rose flavored delicacy licquor that tasted awesome. She was laying on a chaise lounge in a floral robe that was slightly open. Her boobs looked like she just had surgery on them because you could see the blue stitches sticking out from beside her nipples. Freaky. She was saying something to me about her husband leaving her and now it didn't matter. I remember filling up my drink glass, and walking down the stairs quickly thinking I didn't want to get involved with those two. Then I was in the car with some friends on our way to a party at the beach. They all had something to drink with them and I decided that I wanted a bottle of wine. Stop at that liquor store I said, we pulled in.

It was some kind of middle eastern place with brass plates and rugs. When we went in, it turned from a liquor store to more of a restaurant/hash house. There were people wandering around everywhere. There was a kitchen where they were preparing food. I could smell it. There was one room I walked in that reminded me of a haunted house I visited as a child. Stark white with some silhouetted stark arrangement in the corner. Sometimes that feeling, when a room is full of nothing, can be intimidating to me.

The following room I walked into there was a woman in white and graying sari, she was in her 80's I would guess. She had long silver scraggly hair. She started to profess to me about life. When she finally looked at me, she had lizard eyes, yellow opalescent with slits in them. I felt so at peace with her, as in I thought she needed me for some reason thats why she was seeking me out. She said, you have suffered for a long time. Its been a long long time for you. I said, Can i help you with something? She said, its not quite over but not much longer. I offered to help her to a seat. And left her with the friends she had there. I wandered back through some rooms with various themes that were part Indian, part Middle eastern. And lots of people, wind chimes and drinks.

After that, we are back at the beach with friends we are waiting for fireworks. Its night time and dark out. The moon is amazingly full. I mean it was HUGE and sitting right on the water. I remember thinking is it going to set completely? I don't want it to go away. Very surreal. The water was rough, but dark and inviting but I didn't get in. Instead we sat and watched the water, then headed home on foot down the boulevard.

Now.... Monday night. I don't remember how it started. Or if this is the exact way it started. The main them of the movie was me downtown somewhere with a friend hanging out. We were near a water park and decide to go there. We were in the swimming pool. There were people in the hot tub. Somebody kept throwing a boat in the hot tub. I was confused about that so I went over there and said to my friend, lets get this boat out into the big pool. She kept saying NO.. I said fine! Anyone else want to go? No response, so I jumped into the boat. Then a young man jumped in with me. He was sitting behind me. It was kind of strange since I didn't know him,I went with it. the boat went up a ramp. Then down a ramp, the up and down these conveyor belts, then drop you like at the water park~ We were having a great time. But he was really quiet. Then the young mans father came up and said, I need to talk to you. We parted ways, I got an uncomfortable feeling. I went back to check on the boy and found him dead. I knew that his father had something to do with it. He was going to try and frame me for the incident. I realized no one had found out what was going on just yet so I hid. I remembered the boy and I had left our cell phones somewhere. Then as everyone was distracted by the body, I snuck back and got both our cell phones and some other recording devices I found that the father planted and was planning to use to set me up. I wrapped them up in a bandanna and took off without any clothes on. Just my bathing suit. At the moment I was coming out of the building the "father" shows up and sees me carrying the bundle... I run out into the streets. And lose him in the city traffic. I end up at a close by eating hole that is full of pirates!~ (I think that came from seeing pictures of Pirate Days Ventura Harbor last weekend.) I sat down, ordered a coffee, and proceeded to check out what I had collected. Then I woke up.

Steve Earle was my bad a*s Faulknerian lover. Sounds like a great song huh? Funny it was like we had always known each other and always comfortable with each other. But the shortest part of the whole dream. Ha! whew! I typed this fast and furiously to get it out of my head while I can remember it. Do you guys dream like this? Or am I the "lucky one"?

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