You know... I have tried all my life to be a person of love, judgment free, someone that takes what is given as a challenge and allow it to alter my life. I have made mistakes for sure. But I don't pit friend against friend, putting up the "them or me" shit. I don't want to live that way. ever. I am not as strong as I used to be. I need some time in the asylum so no one can fuck with my head.
God save me if I fall back into the pit of despair. and take away jim beam. he is the devil.