There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Wednesday, February 25

Robert Downy, Jr.

I saw a picture of him at the Oscars, looked like he was having a good time as in having a belly laugh good time. Don't know if this inspired my dream or not... The saga continues.

I was in my kitchen making some coffee or something. It was early morning. All of the sudden I looked down and there was a huge pile of rocks or grounds or something black on the floor. Surrounding it was a swarm of robotic bugs. They just kept reproducing. As my friend Carol was helping me clean them up, she was exclaiming, "They just keep coming! And multiplying." We were furiously sweeping them up. I moved to the other side of the room. Looking down I saw a gold fish bowl broken. Part of the bowl was still filled with water and the fish was in there... still alive. I took a deep breath and wondered where I was going to put the fish. I heard footsteps.

In walks Robert Downy Jr. in a white thermal T with some flannel pants. I was thinking, DAMN my kitchen is a mess and I look like SHIT! He starts talking to me about his relationship. How he isn't sure that he wants to be with this woman he is dating, wants my advice. I look down at the floor and see the bugs still multiplying, and look up at him saying, "You're Robert Downey Jr. man! Suck it up! Tell her how you feel! What do you really want?"

He laughed out loud saying, "Yea. Just be honest. I hear ya."

In walks that comedian with the red hair that had all the plastic surgery done, forget her name, she starts bitching at him calling him a slacker etc. He laughs and says, "I am not ready for a relationship, and even if I was it wouldn't be with you."

He looked at me thankfully and left with a warm cup of coffee. I continued to clean up the bugs and put the fish in a new bowl. I realized that I was glad I had the gift of bestowing some wisdom on people.

After thoughts: I couldn't figure out where the bugs were coming from though. I think it was from a real conversation I had with J. yesterday about nano technology, and robots that are going to be injected for surgical/repair work on the human body. That's totally out of control.

Monday, February 23

Tuesday, February 17

Nasa and Blue Aliens

Dreaming again. I was sitting in a building with some friends. Up in the sky were small aircrafts that had the NASA logo. We sat back watching them searching for something. I didn't know what it was in the beginning. Then I saw a strange space ship emerge, but none of my other friends saw it. Then, a blue man came out of the ship landing on the ground in front of us. I immediately hid behind a bush to watch. The man crouched down behind some equipment. When the coast was clear of the NASA people, he bolted across the field and disappeared. I ran over to the closest Nasa vehicle i could find, saying did you catch him?

"Catch who?' said the representative.

"The blue man" I replied.

"You saw something?" she said

"Of course. Didn't you?" i laughed while saying.

Ok simple speech for a scientist, but thats how it went. She proceeded to ask me a bunch of questions, which I answered in my typical sarcastic way. Then she decided I needed to be recruited, because I could see aliens and they couldn't. She offered me a job.

Heck yea I would take it! What a Cool job, I was thinking. My next thought was how much are they going to pay me? That's GOT to be worth something. The only person that can see this particular alien and who knows what other kinds.

Women in Black? Or should it be purple?

dreams rock.

Tuesday, February 10

A new day

When you find a real love, is it a reflection of yourself or is it a completion of yourself? I went away for the weekend. It was peaceful and non-dramatic. I found a spot inside myself I have not seen in a long time. I spent some time questioning if I wanted to love again. Am I truly ready to put myself outside the wall. And the wonderful thing is that I heard the same thing come out of the other persons mouth at almost the same time.

Its so peaceful to be on the same page with someone and feel a calm excitement. Its powerful. Its moving forward. Its what we both deserve. Why all the questions?

Monday, February 2


I know what I feel and where I want things to go. I also know that I have never ended up with what I have wanted out of life, so why would I think this is going to work out either?

My faith is currently being tortured. No matter where I put it, I feel like its in the middle of a tornado being wind torn and shredded by the flying debris surrounding it.

My psychic Lori says Mercury is in retrograde and things will get better. I do have faith in Lori, but she has been wrong before too.

We all have free will. I have to find my strength in myself again and everything else will follow. Please God. I just need a break. Some peace and forgiveness for my stupidity. I mean I am human after all. I need a revitalization.

Please show me how to get back there.