There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Sunday, March 29


I have vivid dreams.

I have a son.

I moved to California from Texas to save my life.

I love animals, they don’t live with me.

I love men, they don’t love me.

I have friends and they make me smile.

I wish I took better pictures and had time to paint.

I love to have long conversations with people and see the light come into their eyes when they speak of their loves and life.

I feel judgment is selfish and self centered.

I won't hate.

I realize every moment in life is a choice I make.

I like that picture even though I don't want that kind of life.


I know that I am hard on myself. That makes it hard on others to be with me. I wish I could get past that. Someday when everyday things aren't stressed out for me at full blown range, then I will know the right person is in my life.

Thursday, March 26

Unmade Bed

It seems strange to look at the bed and not see you there. I don't know that I am comfortable with that feeling. Part of me see's us apart in the future. I am not usually wrong about these things. How much of that is projected or interpreted wrong? Only time will tell.

A psychic once said to me, why do you call me? I get hit with a wall of clairvoyance when ever you talk to me. I don't like power of any kind. Some things in life aren't chosen by us, they are chosen for us. And we learn how they fit into our lives. I know I will survive whatever happens to me. Its just hard sometimes to know that what you love wont be there forever. Such is the temporary chaos of this plane of existence. AHHHH.

Tuesday, March 24


Falling in love with this song again.

My words confuse you
My eyes don’t move a blink
Cause it’s easier sometimes
Not to be sincere
Somehow I make you believe
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
Honest is easy
Fiction is where genius lies
Cause it’s easier sometimes
Not to be involved
Somehow I make you believe
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt
When I speak I cross my fingers
Will you know you’ve been deceived?
I find a need to be the demon
A demon cannot be hurt

Demons ~ Guster


Ok bear with me this stream of consciousness. I was listening to the radio yesterday and an OLD song came on that I loved and now I can't remember what it was. Thats sucks. It spurned me to think I should have a notepad in my car to write stuff down on. Later, I saw this video about a development at MIT that blew my mind.

A facebook friend said today, "There is too much information out there to process." I understand that completely. That is one reason why I no longer have cable TV. I can't keep up with all the rush of information from so many angles. I prefer life to be a simple stream of conscious, peaceful moments. There is so much to see, do, hear and absorb. And that is just in nature. With all the access to various music, news, art, photography, videos, comedy, drama, discovery, history, do it yourself, travel, NASA, self help, solutions to financial difficulties and shopping... see? overwhelming. I choose to start paying more attention to the time I spend with all the info overload and mindless brain sucks on the internet.

What have we done to ourselves? Thats not a complaint. I love my electronics. I have a huge attachment to my browser/internet connection. For one reason, it leads me to others, including the people I love very much. Provides me with endless online conveniences.

One thought. Slow down magic carpet. I want to view the scenery! por favor. rock on.

Thursday, March 19

Spring or Summer?

I am still celebrating my birthday week. I have been a blog slacker! I haven't even read any of my favorite bloggers entries for a while. Heck I don't even read period. I spend long days with my kid and my friend.

This warm weather is spoiling me! I hate to think of how hot this summer is going to be.

Thursday, March 12

Its My Birthday!

Just for kicks. I am not feeling as old as Barbie. :wink:

Sorry Mom. This was too good to not post.

Wednesday, March 4

everybody is wonderin

I feel like just sittin in the sun on the beach and learning to play this song on my guitar and entertaining myself for a few mins. without a care or a responsibility. :giggle:

No one knows fer certain, so its all the same to me. I think I'll just let the mystery be.

Tuesday, March 3


Someone I ran into online today used to be happy to see me. Today he turned on me instead. A new friend of mine has enlightened me to something worth thinking about. Don't make time for people that aren't open to positive and forward thinking motives. People that make you feel bad about yourself.

Good Point. Thanks for freeing me up there Brad. I missed you. Up until today when you showed me what you thought about me. Please release yourself from your issues and free up your life. You will thank yourself. I wish you Grace and Peace. Good bye.


Last night I asked a couple of people that I care to help me with my diet. They looked at me like I was crazy. Both can eat all they want, no issues. It made me realize, this is MY battle, no one else's. I don't appreciate myself. I don't respect my body. Now, I have to take the time to get serious about my health and my physical condition. I am feeling adult enough to give myself a kick in the a** for not taking care of ME better.

Methods and diets never seemed to work for me. I have to figure out how to work around the gimmicks and find a reasonable method of living for my own weight loss. Put the pieces together as I get down the line one step at a time.

Things I have noticed about my eating habits when I do it and when I don't.

When I am doing something I love, I don't think about food.
I love painting, taking pictures, cooking, going to the beach, being outside,
When I exercise, that is less time to be eating. And it helps out my lungs.

So now to formulate what will work. What foods can I eat? What has worked in the past? How do I exercise on this fragile ankle? How do I push through the wall of it and get started? Calender? Keeping records of the intake? etc?

Ok. well, I am on the quest. Keep you informed. Maybe a photographic journey of areas that I need to change. And a "HATCH" of energy I have yet to discover.

can you tell I am so into "LOST"? cuz I am. J is a LOST widow.

Monday, March 2


I went out flying with a friend. He took me over LA. This is one of the pictures that I took. I hope I have another chance to get some better images. The haze over LA is intense. Its a much better place from the air than on the ground.

Thanks B. for taking me up in your flying machine. It was really nice.