There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Thursday, June 4

Questioning Choices

Today I was thinking about childhood. What prompted this was a song I heard on the radio by Jackson Browne. He was reflecting on his childhood and how it brought a smile to his face remembering his friends from that time. I wondered about those times and why its impact was so significant. What stamps our emotional memory so strongly from that time in our lives?

Sure we can say we were fresh to the world back then. Our peers became our greatest emotional bonds. They shared with us things we couldn't share with the elders for fear of exposing our misdeeds. They were the ones we trusted completely without question and ran around the world with. Sharing our splinters, scars and stories.

Some of us grow into adult relationships that reflect some of those aspects. The further we get into adult life the more that innocence seems to leave, even the casual moments we spend with friends. Can we allow them to still exist? Do we remind ourselves that every moment is filled with wonder if we let ourselves? Or do we plod along in the drudgery of everyday scoliosis. Plotting each move based on what we perceive should be happening next.

Maybe I am on the wrong train of thought these days. I find myself looking for problem, looking to solve the problems when I should be embracing the now. Knowing my thoughts won’t solve anything; constantly relearning it’s actions that create motion.

My personal reflection about childhood that really stuck with that string of lyrics is how I have lost momentum. I have to stop giving up and start moving again exploring each possibility with pure vision and promise. The recovery from surgery took me much longer than expected and I am climbing out of “de-feeted” mode.

Anyway. I don’t know if any of this makes sense to others besides me. I just had the vision this morning that all of life could reflect that childhood fervor and maybe I ought to find that again in myself.

Happy Thursday!

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