There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Monday, December 21

Snowy Ride

Ok. Dreamtime revelation AGAIN!

Some friends asked me to go out with them, and they insisted upon driving. We went to a bar and were having a good time. For some reason they all wandered off and left me at the bar alone. I looked around and the couple that gave me a ride there were schmooozing up some guy who was a celebrity or something. I went back up to the bar to get a drink and it became dusk. As I looked outside it was snowing... I screamed Look everyone snow!!! Everyone squeeled and ran outside to dance around in it. By the time I grabbed my camera, everyone had come back in and the snow had slowed down. I was only a bit disappointed.

I realized it was getting late and people were leaving. When I went to look for my friends they were not inside. So i gathered my things and wandered out into the parking lot standing in the snow looking for them. They were indeed heading out with this man in their jeep... laughing and looking at me. When i walked out in front of the Jeep they were all making excuses why I couldn't have a ride with them. I thought, what the heck am I going to do now? I was confused and angry so I set out after them. I was livid.. I had NO money for a cab, much less one that was as far away from the bar as their house was, but took one there expecting to get the money from the couple that left me. I would have driven my car had i known that thy would leave me.

I finally arrived at this couple's door and she opened up the door saying, "You know how long I have been looking for a decent job, and this person can give it to me. If you do anything to mess up this night I am going to never forgive you."

I said, "Why would I do that? I mean the only thing I would say is that you basically left me after you said you would give me a ride both ways!" She sighed and let me in.

When I went into the house, there were a lot of people getting out sheets and pillows getting ready to pass out! I felt so abandoned and left out. I was greeted warmly by most of them, but at this point all I wanted to do was get out of there. So I said hello to the male half of this couple and exchanged some words, I headed back out into the storm to drive.

The dream has been sitting with me all morning and the look on that woman's face really is haunting me. Why would I be someone that would be seen as someone to destroy someone else's chances at something when I didn't do anything wrong? Am I feeling that life is unfair? maybe. Honestly I don't feel that way nearly as much as I did in my youth. hm.

I am looking forward to sleeping again to get that image out of my head. oh yea!

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