There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Tuesday, January 26

U Boats & Single Moms


We were on a road trip, my parents, my brother, Austin and I. We crossed the bridge in NY and we saw some War Ships (US). I was concerned that there were so many and they seemed fully staffed and I heard sirens. I mentioned something to my family, they really didn’t make much of it. I started to get online to text someone and question what was going on. I was online from my phone talking to people on the east coast. About the time we got down to Virginia, the bus was a mess I was riding up top and my things were sliding all around the bus. My mother and brother were trying to find a parking space for the bus. And I was still on line when my phone dropped into the front end… I managed to get up there and clean out the front after the bus was parked. My mother and brother had gone to find the apartment/room where we would be spending the night.

When they came back, my mother said, “Don’t forget you have to get to Oprah’s house. You are going to her “house warming” show. They are going to show appetizers and decor. Its all single mothers, meaning you have to bring Austin along with you.”

I thought that was kinda weird, but went anyway. Austin and I show up to an opulent mansion on the beach. They take him to a room with all the other Kids, and I am taken to the room where the show is being filmed. I remember walking in and seeing Martha Stewart, Valerie Bertinelli, and a few other women. I was walking up to sit next to Martha as I had a few questions for her, and noticed the seat was “reserved”. So I ended up going to the front of the room. Each table was set for one person, small tables with a full place setting. White eyelet table cloths, black floral overlay with a white linen runner, white plates with black accents stacked 3 high, crystal glasses, and silverware. Everyone had on nice outfits, nothing too elegant.

Oprah started the show, speaking about who knows what, and then people started bringing in food. Martha was introduced at this time and she got up to talk about the recipes. When I was served my food, I went to eat it and the cookie/cake that she served me it fell apart. Oprah, who had sat down next to me, started laughing. I looked at her and said, “Once a klutz always a klutz.” She sided with me saying, “I know what you are talking about. And I am in the spotlight.” Valerie chimed in with her sentiments followed by her signature giggle.

I proceeded to look out the window as I wanted a distraction from this conversation and saw the war ships in the ocean outside the house. They looked like they were being radiated from the skies! The water was rough, the beams were shooting at the ships and people were jumping off the ship. Then the ships started sinking. I screamed saying “OMG, they are nuking our ships!!” The other ladies got a bit nervous. I said to Oprah, “Where is your fallout shelter in this place?” She didn’t respond. I went to find Austin.

When I got to the room that held the children, I grabbed him and looked out the window. All kinds of ships were in the harbor now, attacking each other. Transformer looking stuff. Then I looked out the other window and saw all the “celebrities” leaving in their cars. Looked like something out of a 1950’s Hollywood movie. Convertibles and old classic cars zooming away, and realized they had left us there. I started looking around for a safe place to hide in case of radiation fallout. We ended up finding a “safe room”. As I was curious to what was happening I would occasionally go to the window to look out. The river had cleared of ships. People were wandering around the neighborhoods. I saw some that were perfectly normal and some that looked as if their faces were melting off. They had green spots on their faces and were screaming in pain. I couldn’t let Austin see it. We heard some other people in this huge house so we went looking for them hoping they weren’t the face melting people.

I found a room with some politicians in it. They were dressed in black suits and ties. The discussion was about this house being safe from the toxins. One of them looked at me and said, “Is that your son?”. I responded affirmatively. He then said to me, “Here, you both drink this syrup.”

I asked him what it was. He said, “It will protect you both from prolonged exposure to radiation fallout. I can see that neither of you are going to have to really worry about that anyway. Only some people will have bad reactions to the radiation. It’s a different kind of radiation than others. But, this syrup will keep you immune just in case.”

I thanked him and they went back to their conversation. Then I woke up. I felt pretty calm when I woke up from this dream. Surprisingly. I guess I felt safe from Austin and I dying from the radiation.

Monday, January 25


I had a dream i was in a big downtown city. I was at a work function. They were handing out things. I don't remember what. Then we had a picnic and swim party. I was with my coworkers.

When i got out of the pool i was walking downtown with a towel around my waist. I was thinking, man this sucks. Then a voice in my head said, "See that guy up there? , pointing up to a man walking up a hill. "He is REALLY struggling." I sighed and said, yea a bit. Then when I turned around to walk off, I realized I was no longer in the city i was surrounded by burning lava no civilization in sight. There were screams, wilderness and frightening animals everywhere. The voice says, "This is hell. Be grateful."

I fell to my knees praying. and slid through the ground back onto the streets of the city. I ran to the next destination remembering to be thankful.

That dream has sat me with for a few days. Seriously worried that I am having apocalyptic dreams consistently. I had another one last night. I just don't feel like writing another one out. I just have to remain focused on making things truthful and honest for myself. Find silver linings and positive avenues. And BE GRATEFUL.

Friday, January 22

Rainy Drive and Agreements

What a great morning conversation. Its nice to have conversations with your kid and help them to understand a point you are trying to make.

We are both so ADD its difficult sometimes. But in the end, you got what I was saying despite the "I don't want to have to talk about this" attitude! You actually listened. And agreed and came up with your own points.

I think I need to relax more. *giggle*

Wednesday, January 6

Picture Books will always be Picture Books...

And I drew one! Check it out. Please.

I am not good at marketing. My friend Wilene is the marketing lady. I am a lowly artist praying for enough income to have a studio so I can WORK finally instead of putting eraser gum all over my bed, table, couch and chairs...

Thanks for your support.

Tuesday, January 5


Does anyone own an Amazon Kindle? Give me the scoop.

Monday, January 4

Another Paw

I was admitted into the Hospital, and was in bed next to my doctor and I was giving HIM some advice. I couldn't sleep. Then I was released and remember walking outside. I came to a tall green hedge/fence. When I looked down on the ground i found a brown paw which was moving slightly on its own. I wasn't afraid, mostly curious. I wasn't even disturbed by the fact it was apart from whatever lost this paw. At first I thought it was a rabbits foot, and i thought, YES! good luck for the year. Then I pressed on the pads and realized it was a cats paw. Brown, Huge claws.... and yet still, not disturbed. Just held on to it to show to others and get their opinion.

Then I was passing a truck and I saw my friend J.J. whom I hadn't seen in a LONG time. We had a pleasant conversation from what I can remember... She agreed with me that it was some sort of cat, but not a domestic cat. I don't remember much past that point. For sure it wasn't a tiger paw, so thats a good sign.

Happy New Year everyone!