SIGH... another week closer to the anniversary of the day I was spit out upon this god forsaken sphere of doom!!!! (giggle)
meh I am a happy soul! I say, why be gloomy when there is a sky overhead, earth below, ocean within walking distance, and a kid that puts a smile on my face reminding me to understand that life can be magical. You have to allow it. Sadly and silently and a-lonely (ha i made that up) I have realized I wont be allowed to participate in some peoples lives. Its still hard for me when I see that bright light shimmering between two people and they can't or wont appreciate it for the simple thing it is, or the promise and potential of what it COULD be! How one little step towards joining these forces opens up a world of influence not just for the two people but for ANYONE that comes in contact with that team. It really can be a ripple effect IF you allow it without judgement or agenda (yea I got my issues with agenda too).
There were moments in my past where I thought was very close to that but since then I have realized it just wasn't right. I am happy to have learned that and know what it is I am looking for! There isn't an agenda for any person that comes into my life (friend or lover), but I do know that it requires someone willing to take risks in their lives. We can only grow stronger by joining forces and forging ahead to transform our lives and in beautiful chorus, the lives of others we touch on a daily basis. Negativity (or lack of positive thinking) is a deep dark soul sucking hole that gives you a false sense of security and allows you self indulgence in spades... it also provides you with pathetic brief momentary relationships that suck out even MORE life out of your soul. Dont create or reach for a dream from that place. Turn on your light and don't be afraid of what you see there. Life is transition at all times. Pick up your little pieces of shit you don't like, toss them in the bin, and put the ones you do like on the wall as sign posts or guides to where you WANT to go.
Hello? companion? are you hearing my siren song? I kinda keep singing it at the TOP OF MY LUNGS... maybe I should roll the driver window down.. (giggle)