There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Wednesday, December 19

A day to think

I have a day off, and I drove to LA to spend time with a friend. Today everything just sank into place, which allowed me time to be uncomplicated and have some linear thought. I don't get that kind of time very often. I live alone with my offspring, the mini me, the artist in the making, a spontaneous combustion of superior intelligence that wears me like a coat! I am such a sucker for that kid. Currently,  we are in counseling to discuss our issues but we seem to keep stepping the same steps. I hope that Katrina and Martha can help is define a middle ground, which isn't happening easily between us. Family relationships are the deepest you have in your life in regards to effecting your thinking process and emotional reactions. This one is going to work, as they all do, I want it to make us better people in the long run. I hope I can do it.

Its so interesting to see his mind develop. So often, he does something that reminds me of how i was as a child. Or even now, as I have remanded a childlike attitude most of my life, much to the dismay of anyone that has to deal with me on a personal level. I tend to be outspoken, self absorbed, misguided by naivety, and outright foot stompin obstinate. And I wonder why I have a child that is that way!

I am appreciated and loved, as is my son. He has a way to go ahead of him and I hope that I can be a suitable teacher. If i can't, I hope that I can find surrogates that fit his personality and allow him an easier path along the landmine that is life experience.

Today I have had time to think. I have thought about my son and my own desires of where I want my life to go. I want a studio, for my creative manifestation. I hear music in my head, and i see pictures i have been drawing for months. My son needs to see mommy in her element. I hope I am offered that opportunity to let him sit in the passenger seat, and be my copilot in yet another adventure for the Mitchell family of two.

love to my friends and family see me for who I am, and love me anyway!!!!

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