This holiday season, I have been insatiably hungry! But food doesn't seem to be feeding that hunger. The reason I say that is because I keep putting food into the gullet, and still feel unsatisfied. What is pushing that desire? That longing to be filled? I know one is a physical relationship with someone, but deeper than that a longing is haunting me.
Something spiritual is brewing up desire south of my equator. I have had sessions with a great therapist which has lead me to some answers. I know that I have spent many years beating myself up, and I need to focus on finding a middle ground between hating myself and being too egotistical in caring about myself.
Focus is the key word. Issues with my stomach and intestines are from my inability to remain stable progressive growth, spiritually. What keeps coming up is creativity, art and writing. I will write every day, and attempt to make one sketch every day. I will look for an apartment/studio where I can educate my son to find his own voice through his creativity.
Focus, redefine, focus, redefine, focus, fine tune... focus! Life is change. thats GOOD news.