I watch these moments of hope in movies and hear them in lyrics of music. I don't give up or lean into inability. I am aging, and realize my cute factor has totally worn off. I know that I am a mess. I know that I am uncontrollable. But I am here, I love with all my heart, I have a huge heart, and love life.
I can't hope anymore. The last man I loved and felt wholly connected to pushed me into a closet. I love him. I wont ever let that go, but I will find someone that feels that for me, without conditions.
Lifes a piece of shit, when you look at it. But sometimes? GREAT things happen. GREAT things.