There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Tuesday, January 21


You know,  I often wonder how many parents are forcing on their children their own personal dreams. Living this close to LA, i imagine a LOT of them are pushing their kids into "acting".

This is  a sad sad thing in my mind.

Tuesday, January 14

Inside me?

The level of energy/insanity that comes out of a 10 year old child sets me on EDGE. I love having wonderful energy in morning, but when it becomes a tornado of chaos, it pushes me to the reactionary place... and the more you try to control it, the worse it gets.

You can't ignore it because its a life force energy. You can't quiet it because its a life force energy. You can't escape it when you live in one room. What is it inside me that feels so unsettled about it?

I wish I had 8 hours a day to contemplate things, hell I would settle for 2 hours a day of silence, my location and my house and my situation provide no privacy or silence. This has to change for the good of mankind!!!! lol

Monday, January 13

Your spiritual journey should NOT begin with a Doughnut

After a long visit with my family in Texas, well, even before that, I realized that my spiritual life is sadly lacking. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am NOT talking about religion or god or even Buddha… I am talking about the spiritual path I am on with my humanity and the world around me. I have lost that faith in myself and the faith in the world. And that isn’t working for me.

Changes happen everyday, we walk, we talk, we fall, we rise, we live. Its part of our connection, our human experience. I have a serious internal na├»ve ignorance of my true self, which includes a part of me that wants to die. THAT has to end, and it will, how fast I don’t have any clue, but this path has begun again for me. Choices are being made as we breathe into this moment here.

Today’s spiritual path started with a doughnut!! Doughnuts are definitely one of the devil’s tools that puts a fog in our minds and bodies. (Homer Simpson drool and doughnut moan here). I have no clue to the solid attraction other than, its gluten, its sugar, it’s a finger food, its better when it’s warm, ie: holy crap, it’s a deity! Mixed with coffee, we expose the raging over reactive ‘aholics in all of us… NOT a good thing.

So, in light of this realization, I, the square woman of the edge of the continent, paradise, usa, deny the power of the doughnut over me.. (past this point of course). I am on a path of healing, and its time for gluten and sugar to get BEHIND me.. not in my behind. or my brain, or my thighs or arms or in my BELLY.

I am loved… by me to be free of this temptation, once and for all. This step has been taken to free myself .